Day 47

This evening I've felt a little crampy.  I've been constipated today so I don't know if they are poop cramps or uterus cramps.  Every little thing makes me so paranoid.  I really hope to make it to day 280 give or take.  I guess time is all I can hope for.  I'll try to stay calm and understanding if it is another one of those awful miscarriages.  I need to face my fears if it is and admit defeat.  We just might not be meant to have another baby.  Sometimes time passes so slowly.  Even though it is flying by.  I wish I could skip to week 16, maybe then I'd have more confidence.  Probably not though, my husband (don't tell him I mentioned he exists) says I'm always paranoid, especially in the beginning.  And this was before I had the bulk of my miscarriages.  I really hope I'm wrong and it's just poop cramps or early stage pressure and cramping.  If anyone is out there reading this, pray for me to keep my sanity.