Day 74

Two more days until my first appointment.  I'll be 11 weeks.  I'm making my Mom go with me because I couldn't get a Friday appointment when my hubby could go.  I'm so scared.  I've been having some dull pain in my stomach area today.  It feels a bit like constipation pain, but I'm not constipated.  I've pooped twice...
I am hopefully just being overly paranoid.  I keep thinking I feel movement, but it could always just be gas.  My stomach does keep growing which is a good sign, right?  I'm terrified to look up at the ultrasound monitor.  I still have nightmares about the face of the dead fetus looking at me, accusing me.  I know it is silly, but I can't help it.  I want another baby.  I don't want another miscarriage.  If I make it to Wednesday, I'll post another picture of my huge tummy.  It's getting hard to hide beneath my shirts.  And this week my pants started not fitting.  I really wish I could know that everything will be okay.